People often ask me what are the main points to "take away" from my Master Class or other multi-day training programs I provide. The trainings are about Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, an evidence-based, effective, and empirically validated treatment and associated parenting approaches. I've come up with what I call the Ten Take-Away Points that I'd like parents and professionals to come away understanding after training:
1. Kind attributions
2. All behavior is adaptive.
a. Mental health is flexibility. Many children’s “problems” can be seen as caused by rigidity and not feeling safe.
b. Much of the child’s behavior can be explained by their being “relationship phobic.”
3. Strange or odd behavior represents our lack of empathy.
a. Is this a child who like to argue or a child who is fearful of being hurt, scared, hurt, and lacking trust?
4. It’s about connections not compliance
5. Mistakes are not a problem, lack of repair is.
6. Who owns the button?
7. Alliance is the key. Alliance is necessary to create a secure base, which is necessary to for exploration, integration, and healing.
8. Parents are the keystone.
9. How to stop a behavior? Treat the cause not the symptom. Address the underlying driver.
10. Shame, fear, anxiety underlie much.