People often ask me what are the main points to "take away" from my Master Class or other multi-day training programs I provide. The trainings are about Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, an evidence-based, effective, and empirically validated treatment and associated parenting approaches. I've come up with what I call the Ten Take-Away Points that I'd like parents and professionals to come away understanding after training:
1. Kind attributions
2. All behavior is adaptive.
a. Mental health is flexibility. Many children’s “problems” can be seen as caused by rigidity and not feeling safe.
b. Much of the child’s behavior can be explained by their being “relationship phobic.”
3. Strange or odd behavior represents our lack of empathy.
a. Is this a child who like to argue or a child who is fearful of being hurt, scared, hurt, and lacking trust?
4. It’s about connections not compliance
5. Mistakes are not a problem, lack of repair is.
6. Who owns the button?
7. Alliance is the key. Alliance is necessary to create a secure base, which is necessary to for exploration, integration, and healing.
8. Parents are the keystone.
9. How to stop a behavior? Treat the cause not the symptom. Address the underlying driver.
10. Shame, fear, anxiety underlie much.
- Arthur Becker-Weidman, PhD
- NY, United States
- Arthur Becker-Weidman, CSW-R, PhD.DABPS received his doctorate in Human Development from the University of Maryland, Institute for Child Study. He achieved Diplomate status from the American Board of Psychological Specialties in Child Psychology and Forensic Psychology. He is a member of the American College of Forensic Examiners.
Dr. Becker-Weidman has over twenty years experience as a family therapist, consultant, and researcher. He has directed mental health, addiction treatment, family service, and other behavioral health organizations.
Dr. Becker-Weidman has extensive experience counseling families and helping them through difficult times with practical advice. He has published over a dozen scholarly papers and presented at numerous national, regional, and local professional meetings. Much of his research and publications have focused on adolescent and adoptive family development.
13 comments:
Dr. Weidman,
Brilliant write up! I like all of your points. I am however, confused with one point:
3. Strange or odd behavior represents our lack of empathy.
What does this mean? Behavior from the child is caused by parents lack of empathy or the other way around?
Michael
http://www.rad-online.org
Dear Michael,
Thanks for the question. what I am referring to is that all behavior has meaning and is adaptive. If some behavior appears to be odd or strange or incomprehensible, it is because we are not seeing the world through the other person's eyes; we don't have empathy.
If we have empathy and are able to understand the world as the other person does, then the behavior will "make sense" within that context; although it may not be adaptive now in this family, it probably was adaptive in the past in that family.
does this make sense now?
BTW, I like you site and registered there. Would it be ok if I post some articles there?
regards
art
Dear Dr. Weidman,
Yes, I have just activated your account, and you may now post articles on site!
Just remember, that when you post, make sure that you select the appropriate category for that particular article.
I really enjoy what you have to write. And I totally agree with you. The biggest problem with R.A.D. in my mind is that those that suffer from it do horrendous things, almost to the point where it's prohibitive to understand/comprehend the act.
But that's just my take on it as a R.A.D. Survivor.
Michael
Good morning Doctor!
Michael
Excellent points. I have GOT to take one of your classes!
Michael~ My guess is that if your focusing on the behavior as strange or odd you are not focusing on giving empathy.
Oops. I'm sorry I did not see Dr. Becker-Weidman had already answered in a much more complete way!!
Dear Brenda,
Good to hear from you again.
I love your blog. It gives me a place to go and get information based on research that is so very useful!!
Thanks.
I try to stay current and keep people informed of material that is useful.
regards
Art
I am browsing on your blog and enjoying the read. I agree with you that sympathy and understanding go a long way toward changing behavior. Of course, you would know better than I since that is your field.
Dear BeckyJoie,
Thanks for your comments. I think being a professional and having worked with hundreds of families gives me some perspective. I would also note that the parents who live with children who have disorders of attachment and trauma know alot. In fact I often say that they are the real agents of change and healing. When things go well, 75% to 80% of the credit goes to the family for creating a healing home.
Dr Becker-Weidman,
While I do believe the parents are vital in helping a child to heal I also give great credit to our attachment therapist in teaching us what to do to create that change.
Dear Brenda,
I agree. I did not mean to denigrate the role of the therapist; I merely want to underscore how important are parents. Since parents live with the child, and since attachment problems are relationship problems that require treatment of and in the relationship, it is vital that the therapist work through the parents.
Post a Comment